Determining whether or not you need to break up with your partner is something that’s very difficult to do. Generally, people are torn between their well-being and the commitment they’ve made to someone. At this crossroads, it can be hard to know how to proceed or what factors to take into account. However, there are signs that suggest that it’s time to end a relationship.

These indicators are necessary in order to make a well-informed decision. They don’t always occur suddenly but rather manifest themselves in the dynamics of day-to-day life. Such signs, which we’ll address in detail in this article, always vary in severity and nature. Below, we’ll share a clear guide so you can know if it’s time to take a step aside.

When is it time to end your romantic relationship?

Each relationship is unique, and some of the signs we’ll talk about here should be looked at within the context of each individual couple. However, there are other signs that, regardless of said context, are an indisputable reason to cut ties. For example, violence, whether physical, emotional, psychological, verbal, sexual, or vicarious.

Before going into detail, the short answer to the question When should I end a relationship? is when it considerably affects your mental and physical health and deteriorates your well-being and quality of life. Now, that being said, let’s dig deeper and examine the following signs.

On an emotional or psychological level

In many cases, doubts arise, and you don’t know whether it’s time to end the relationship or not. In general, it’s wise to evaluate if this bond represents peace and tranquility in your life. If the opposite is true, this translates into the following psychological alerts that it’s time to step away from things.

1. You don’t receive support

When you’re going through tough times and you don’t receive support, empathy, or encouragement from your partner, then it’s worth thinking about distancing yourself.

2. A lack of interest in your emotions

Your partner doesn’t care about your well-being, ignores your emotional needs, and is indifferent to what you feel.

3. Excessive jealousy

To this list of psychological signs, we can add that if your partner is unfoundedly jealous and restricts your freedom, social relationships, and activities, those are major red flags that you can’t afford to ignore. Plus, they make you feel like you’re their possession and not a human being.

4. Negative comments

You receive frequent derogatory messages from your partner about what you do, are, think, feel, or possess. Your self-esteem, self-concept, and self-image are undermined.

5. The belittlement of your achievements

Your successes are minimized or ignored. When this happens, you feel that what you’ve achieved isn’t important and you end up detracting from your efforts.

6. Blame

Your partner makes you feel responsible for their problems, mistakes, bad decisions, and unpleasant moods. In short, they transfer all the emotional burden on you.

7. Continuous humiliation

In your relationship, whether in public or private, you feel degraded, ridiculed, or ashamed all the time. As a consequence, you perceive yourself as an unworthy and undeserving person.

8. Emotional manipulation

One of the main signs that it’s time to end a relationship is that your partner uses your emotions (fear, guilt, shame, etc.) to make you comply with their wishes or control your actions and decisions. In other words, they exercise emotional manipulation on you.

9. They make you doubt your reality

Being a victim of gaslighting is more than a warning that it’s time to break ties. The term “gaslighting” is used to refer to a form of psychological abuse in which you’re made to doubt your memories, perceptions, sanity, and reality.

10. Psychological abuse

Other signs that it’s time to end a relationship are insults, humiliation, shouting, and manipulation. So are excessive control, destructive criticism, belittlement, intimidation, threats, coercion, etc. All this psychological abuse has a significant negative effect on your well-being and mental health.

On a physical level

It’s important to evaluate whether the relationship threatens your physical health or puts it at risk. Protecting this part of you is non-negotiable, as its impact has significant consequences, including psychological ones. Here’s a list of red flags.

1. Illegal actions

Your partner may involve you in illegal actions, even against your will, which could put your life, safety, and freedom at risk.

2. Coercion to do dangerous activities

You receive threats and are forced to carry out practices or activities that, as in the previous alert, pose a risk to your health or life.

3. Negligence

In situations in which you need medical attention, your partner prevents you from receiving professional assistance. He or she doesn’t look after your health and doesn’t take care of you when you’re ill.

4. Physical intimidation

Regardless of whether you’ve been a victim of physical violence in your relationship, you receive threats of violence and are forced to do things you don’t want to do.

5. Sexual violence

Your partner accesses you sexually without consent and forces you to do things you don’t want, such as anal, vaginal, or oral sex, unwanted sexual contact (touching body parts, kissing), recording sexual videos without your permission or against your will, etc. All of this represents sexual violence.

6. Exposure to hazardous substances

Among the signs that it’s time to end a relationship is intentional exposure to harmful substances that can harm your health, such as tobacco smoke, toxic chemicals, and illegal drugs.

7. Physical violence

You’re a victim of hitting, pushing, kicking, fractures, mutilation, torture, or any other form of physical aggression. In these cases, you shouldn’t only end that relationship, but also report this person’s abuse.

On a social or relational level

If you’re wondering if you should end your relationship, also consider how it affects your interpersonal relationships. Social bonds are crucial not only for life in society but also for well-being and mental health. Evaluate what your life is like in this regard when it comes to your relationship with your partner. We’ll list some signs that should serve as a warning when things aren’t going well.

1. Emotional dependence

Your partner prevents you from having your own relationships and your own spaces. They expect to be your only source of support and social interaction. If you find yourself in this situation, you’re in a state of emotional dependence.

2. Limited social life

Your partner restricts and controls your participation in social activities and gatherings with your friends, colleagues, family members, and neighbors.

3. Excessive control

Your partner forces you to show them your messages or calls. They try to control who you communicate with and go through your social media, email, and instant messaging applications without permission.

4. Isolation

Since you’ve been with your partner, they’ve discouraged and prevented you from interacting with your friends or family. You have no social life because you’ve been cut off from your support circle. You feel alone and isolated.

5. Interpersonal conflicts

A sign that you should end your relationship is if that person makes you fight or argue with your loved ones. They create baseless conflicts to break your ties with your support network.

6. Disapproval of your friends

Even though your friends are great people, you receive negative criticism about them from your partner and notice that he or she disapproves of them unjustifiably. What’s more, they prohibit or discourage you from having contact with your friends.

On a financial level

Although it may seem a little strange for you to evaluate this aspect, it’s crucial that you do so. In some relationships, the economic factor is a source of enormous conflicts and discomfort, especially when one of the members is a victim of economic abuse. Here, we’ll mention certain alerts.

1. Limit your savings

When your partner discourages you from saving for your future or from investing in your learning and training to achieve what you want in the long term, it’s a good idea to think about whether it’s worth staying with them.

2. Lack of contribution

It’s understandable for a bad financial streak to temporarily affect a person’s ability to contribute financially. But if they have the ability to contribute yet never share in expenses or do their part, and they put all the responsibility on you, then you need to rethink the relationship.

3. Irresponsible spending

Associated with the above, your partner makes you make large purchases that affect your economic stability. They make you spend money and go into debt for things you don’t need or that they should be spending their own money on.

4. Economic control

Your partner is the one who controls your finances and bank accounts. In addition to that, they prevent you from accessing your money and make you feel guilty when you make any complaints about it.

5. Pressure to take out loans

Another sign that you should end your relationship is if you’re being manipulated into taking out loans in your name that allow the other person to meet their needs, pay debts, or fulfill their whims.

6. Economic exploitation

Pay attention if your partner continually gets themself into debt and makes you pay the money they owe to others. Also, they make you responsible for their expenses without considering your needs, efforts, and resources, and show no interest in taking care of their own financial responsibilities. If you’re experiencing this, the relationship isn’t healthy.

On a professional level

An important element in every relationship is the personal development or self-realization of each partner. If the other person prevents you from growing, progressing, fulfilling your professional desires, or taking advantage of job opportunities, it’s a sign you may need to end the relationship. Let’s look at other signs.

1. Interference at work

Consider leaving the relationship if your romantic partner becomes involved in your relationships with your bosses and colleagues, which generates a deterioration in the interactions you have with them.

2. Envy of your successes

When you succeed at something, you notice that your partner gets angry, undermines, and envies your achievements. In a healthy relationship, the other person should support you and celebrate your successes with you.

3. Manipulation of your professional decisions

We must add to the signs to end a relationship if your partner tries to control and influence your work decisions, so much so that it can harm your progress and professional growth.

4. Sabotage of opportunities

Another warning that you should break off your relationship is if your partner obstructs or boycotts your job opportunities, thus destroying your chances of promotion and advancement.

5. Limit your contacts

If they restrict your chances of creating new contacts in your professional career, think about whether or not it’s really worth staying together. The same is true if they criticize your efforts to make connections with important people in your work environment.

6. The restriction and minimization of your achievements

It’s a red flag when your relationship limits and is an obstacle that gets in the way of your professional ambitions, in addition to discouraging you from achieving your dreams. Your achievements are seen as irrelevant, and your great successes don’t seem to matter and are demeaned by your partner.

7. Pressure to not prioritize your career

Consider ending the relationship if your partner puts their career and professional needs above yours, asks you to turn down jobs, move, or change your schedules for their own convenience.

Other signs that you should end your relationship

Apart from the above signs, there are many more that will serve as a basis for deciding to cut ties with your partner. Take note of the following:

1. They do not want the same things as you: You don’t have anything in common, you don’t long for the same things,  you don’t have the same values, and they don’t show interest in making future plans for you as a couple, etc.
2. Repeated infidelities: An unfaithful partner breaks trust and demonstrates a notable lack of respect and commitment. Under these conditions, do you think it’s worth continuing?
3. There are more negative aspects than positive: When you take stock of your relationship, and the only things that abound are negative aspects, then it’s a sign that it’s not beneficial for you and that you should think about breaking up.
4. Lack of respect: Respect is a pillar in couples. If your opinions, feelings, needs, and thoughts aren’t valued or heard and, in addition, you receive insults, contempt, and disdain, consider ending things.
5. There’s no intimacy, no passion, no commitment: These three elements of the triangular theory of love are essential in any relationship. If they’re not present, then there’s no true love. And if there’s no love, why continue?
6. Distrust: Having emotional security and stability requires being you’re able to trust your partner. If mistrust reigns and you’re not sure of the authenticity of what the other person says, does, or feels, it’s an indicator that continuing together isn’t the best decision.
7. An inability to be yourself: One of the main signs that you should end your relationship is that you can’t be yourself in it and must repress your essence to conform to what the other person wants. We’re not saying that you shouldn’t change or negotiate things that make your partner uncomfortable, but not being able to be yourself is a sign of an unhealthy relationship.

Put yourself first

Being in a relationship doesn’t mean sacrificing your mental and physical health. Therefore, in this article, we’ve emphasized that when a romantic bond deteriorates any area of your health and negatively affects your well-being and quality of life, it’s time to end the relationship.

Remember that maintaining a healthy relationship requires mutual care, support, acceptance, respect, commitment, intimacy, passion, and trust. If these are lacking, then it’s time to question your permanence in that situation. You must be your own priority.

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