In couple relationships, intimacy is more than important; it’s a central determining factor. Although we may think that this word is limited to the sexual context, it also implies other issues such as trust, complicity, or knowing what the other person wants.
Today, we’ll focus a bit on the sexual routine, on what happens under the sheets (or anywhere else, as we all know that passion isn’t limited to the bedroom). If you want to improve intimacy with your partner, it may be a good time for you to make a little effort to achieve it.
Remember that the first fundamental condition is that both must agree that there are changes that are necessary in order for the relationship to improve. If one of the parties at a specific moment doesn’t feel desire, is very tired, or prefers to do something else that day, it may be necessary to wait until the two are in true harmony.
Intimacy in sex involves several issues, from the pleasure and sensations of the other person to the way we feel at the moment. This has nothing to do with what women or men like best, but with finding a middle ground where the two people connect.
To improve intimacy in couple relationships, one of the indisputable steps is to pay attention to what you feel and at the same time, take care of what the other is experiencing. Do you think it’s possible? Of course it is!
Improving intimacy in couple relationships
While we could say that making love is one thing and having sex is another, it’s also good to alternate between passion and romance. This does the couple a lot of good and enhances the intimate experience.
Eye contact during the sexual encounter is important to increasing the level of complicity and also to knowing how the other is feeling. If you usually close your eyes to feel more pleasure, you’re missing something vital: Observing your partner. It’s not about making eye contact the entire time, but, rather, it’s about finding a balance.
Perhaps at these moments, touch is the most important sense, but there are others, such as sight, hearing, smell, or even taste that, at certain times, can give us extra excitement and pleasure that we’ve never experienced before.
“My opinion when it comes to pleasure is that you have to use all your senses.”
-Marquis de Sade-
Therefore, intimacy isn’t only the place where we have sexual relations but also the place where we have to talk about sex. If we talk about other things with our partner, why not talk about sex?
No one has the power to read anyone’s mind, and there are things that, if we don’t put words to them, we’ll never communicate them. Therefore, on many occasions, your partner would be delighted to please you. What’s more, they want to, but we’re not able to create the richness of intimacy for communication to be possible.
It’s not a penalty?
On the other hand, some people are more embarrassed to look someone in the eyes than they are to take off their clothes, it’s as if eye contact makes them feel truly exposed and fragile— a fragility that, for whatever reason, causes fear.
Overcoming that feeling can lead to wonderful communication in which you allow reality and, by extension, your partner, the opportunity to fill you up much more than you thought possible.
Many times, unintentionally, we are the ones who put chains on our own pleasure.
As we’re talking about fears and insecurities, one of the ways to increase intimacy with your partner is to allow them to “see” you. Women tend to be the ones who have more complexes regarding their bodies and don’t want to leave the light on or choose certain positions where they feel more vulnerable.
Therefore, just as growth is necessary for intimacy to truly develop in couple relationships, the same is true when it comes to sex. This growth goes through intimacy, which in turn goes through trust.
A trust that, like a good stew, needs time that we don’t always set aside in our agendas. It’s an investment that we often disregard or hope will come naturally when, in fact, it’s impossible for it to happen when it’s the last of our priorities.
In fact, there’s nothing wrong with private moments being planned. This must be the case when we’re aware that temporarily, we’re not allowing these situations to arise spontaneously.
Best of all, this will have a positive impact on your day-to-day life because, as mentioned above, intimacy in couple relationships isn’t simply about sexual contact. It also consists of getting to know each other, knowing what the other wants, pleasing them, and letting them please you, as well as searching (and finding) what you both like and how you feel.
Many people find it harder to look into their partner’s eyes and open up emotionally than to get naked and have sex. Emotionally undressing isn’t always as easy as it seems. Perhaps the thought of being rejected conditions our willingness to open ourselves up to our partner. Therefore, if we open ourselves emotionally to our partner, this will positively affect the quality of sexual relations.
Remember that sex is a perfect way to connect with the person you’ve chosen.
Sex isn’t only physical contact, it’s also a mental act. The more rapport we have with our partner, the more we’ll enjoy. Getting naked, emotionally and physically, can be a perfect combination to spend some time with passion, intimacy, and complicity.
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