You may well have experienced emotional loneliness at some point in your life. For instance, when you had a friend who you thought was interested in you but, in reality, they were only concerned with themselves. In fact, they never cared about your interests, sorrows, or joys.
Furthermore, what about those romantic relationships that fell into the abyss of failure? You opened the doors of your heart to people who excited and delighted you. Only to later realize that there’s no loneliness more painful than having someone by your side who doesn’t even see you. Who doesn’t know how to make you happy.
Emotional loneliness is one in which you project certain hopes and great attachments onto others. However, in reality, you only find emptiness. In fact, few feelings can be as devastating as the kind of loneliness that goes beyond the physical plane.
Emotional loneliness is one of the great ‘evils’ of today even though you’re surrounded by people, family, friends, your partner, and hundreds and even thousands of friends on social media. Indeed, there’s no pain more distressing than perceiving voids that no one knows how to fill
The loneliness that no one sees
Emotional loneliness can be rather contradictory. For example, you might find that others say things to you like “You’ve got nothing to complain about. You’ve such an attentive partner and they love you so much” or “You’ll never be lonely with all the friends you have”. You nod your head and smile. Nonetheless, you know that appearances are only that, and, in reality, you feel immensely alone.
Often, you conceive of loneliness as the physical absence of people around you, when you move through life without any ties to bind you or people to care for you and give that daily affection that enriches you.
Sometimes, solitude can be an intimate space where you find more balance. In fact, introspection and being with yourself is a way of strengthening your self-esteem and enriching yourself.
Therefore, we might say that all those people who come into your life and offer you only their selfishness or their emotional immaturity, also take away your precious solitude or balance in which you find precious protection.
If you open the doors of your heart to another, you become a little more vulnerable. That’s because you expect them to complete you, to be your companion. Not to be a cold wind that fills you with emptiness.
How to overcome emotional loneliness
As we mentioned earlier, emotional loneliness is one of the most devastating feelings that a human being can feel. Furthermore, the feeling of having someone and even many people around you, and yet being aware that you feel terribly alone, can often be the prelude to depression.
How can you deal with emotional loneliness? Here are some guidelines.
1- Identify your discomfort, dissatisfaction, and feelings of emptiness. Sometimes, you mask emotional loneliness with other dimensions, such as low self-esteem and low motivation for your social relationships. However, in reality, what you’re feeling is that there’s something outside of you that’s wrong. As a matter of fact, your pain concerns that person or those people who are around you, yet who don’t see you and don’t enrich you. In effect, they don’t know how to make you happy.
2-Reflect on and pay attention to your emotions. How are you feeling? Is it sadness that’s making you feel this way? Do you feel frustrated? If so, why? Are you afraid? If so, what of?
3-Once you’ve identified the real problem, talk about it. In fact, it’s vital that you share with the other party how you feel, whether it’s your partner, a family member, or a friend. Make it really clear that this relationship is causing you more suffering than happiness, and that it’s necessary to make some changes.
4- Once you’ve started the engine of change, whatever it may be, it’s vital that you return to enjoy your own solitude. That’s because you’ve spent a long time not being yourself, waiting for things, and longing for certain sensations and emotions. Inside you are a series of needs that you must balance by finding your inner child again. You also need to find your inner calm.
Emotional loneliness is sometimes experienced as an incoherence. You have someone, and yet you feel the pain of loneliness in an almost heartbreaking way. Solving it, freeing yourself, and rediscovering yourself again will help you in your personal growth.
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