You try and build a safe and peaceful life where risks and, of course, suffering are excluded. However, sometimes you go beyond this simple principle and, for fear of suffering or experiencing any negative emotion, forget to live.
As a matter of fact, today, some people who’ve experienced disappointments in love, who’ve been betrayed, or who’ve suffered a loss, may choose not to ever fall in love again. Doors are closed and, in a certain way, they dispense with living a part of life that’s so important for the human being. On the other hand, everyone is free to make their own decisions and to choose the way they want to spend their days, without being judged or criticized. Nevertheless, you can’t isolate yourself from suffering, it’s almost impossible. You can’t live in a bubble hoping that the wind or the elements will never burst it. Sooner or later you’ll suffer disappointment, no matter how small. Or a betrayal, a loss, or even an illness. In fact, suffering is part of being human, and as such, you must know how to face it.
Face your suffering
One of the biggest mistakes in society today is to consider pain, tears, or suffering as something that should be hidden. Indeed, it’s considered preferable to hold back the tears and go to the bathroom so no one sees you. “Don’t cry, you have to grow up”, they told you when you were little. Therefore, you swallowed your rage and suffering and kept it inside you, like a monster that it was better not to show, and sometimes, not even talk about. This was a mistake. Because suffering isn’t abnormal, it’s not a disease or a sign of weakness. To suffer is to understand that something isn’t going well and you must know how to understand, assume, accept, and face it. Nothing more than that.
Suffering is as normal as the air you breathe. Nevertheless, you sometimes come across people who complain “Why does it always happen to me?” as if pain and suffering only ever affect them. Reality isn’t like that. Everyone experiences the same things at some point. For example, being fired from a job, being rejected or abandoned, suffering disappointments, or losing someone. Pain doesn’t choose victims at random, it affects us all. Nonetheless, we all face it differently.
Some let themselves be defeated. They’re more likely to suffer from depression. There are also those who possess more resources to deal with suffering, yet they may not necessarily use them effectively. Some people simply tend to interpret everything negatively. They think misfortune follows them around, that they have no right to be happy, and they were born to suffer. On the other hand, there are those who, instead of interpreting their suffering, manage it. They develop their own strategies. This is important.
Develop your own coping strategies
Facing your suffering is really important. Remember that crying isn’t an act of pain, it’s a way of letting off steam and a natural need. Therefore, tears are normal and necessary. Don’t look for blame either. If you do, you’ll lengthen your recovery even more by adding the component of rage to your suffering. This means your feelings will be even more negative. Don’t blame anyone. Always think of yourself and how you can emerge from the abyss you’re currently drowning in. You must understand your suffering and not just accept it. If you accept it without fighting, it’ll be useless, because you’ll end up stuck there, in that painful situation.
Face your suffering. Accept your disappointment but look beyond it. Tell yourself that they’ve let you down because they just weren’t capable of making you happy. Recognize that you’ve done your best and that it’s now time to focus on your own life path in search of your well-being and happiness. Because you deserve to be happy.
Suffering is normal. Everyone has their own share of suffering. You must bear this in mind. Also, you need to learn how to manage it so that it doesn’t overflow. Because to continuously suffer suffocates you and makes you lose everything that surrounds you. Even those you love. It’s not worth it. Make sure you take action and fight for your own well-being.
Image Courtesy: Leah Johnston
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