Managing your money and your partner involves issues of power, desire, the ability to listen and negotiate, and more. In fact, it’s no coincidence that money in a relationship tends to be linked with conflict since it’s often related to difficulties in communication or trust. Therefore, you need to learn to address it constructively while, at the same time, growing together as a couple.
You both come from different homes and have gone through different experiences. Consequently, it’s logical that you often don’t necessarily feel or think the same about money. Indeed, you both have your own concepts, fantasies, and even problems regarding it.
Perhaps one of you doesn’t feel worthy of how much you earn. This tends to make money management difficult. Naturally, this will also affect you as a couple. Therefore, you must both learn to recognize the messages that you’re sending to each other and how the two of you feel about the situation. Then, you can analyze the situation and find a way to change it without any feelings of guilt.
You may find it necessary to seek psychological help if there’s a problem that’s particularly difficult for you both to manage.
Writing things down can also be useful. In fact, seeing on paper what you both feel about the problem may help improve communication between you.
However, there’s no one solution to money issues in a relationship and what works for one couple may not work for another. If you both have similar ideas about saving and spending, it may be useful to share your money. Nevertheless, if one of you earns less than the other, this means one of you will end up at a disadvantage if you agreed to contribute to the household expenses equally. Or, you may disagree about what are necessities and what aren’t. In these kinds of situations, separating your money and contributing jointly for fixed expenses only is usually more convenient.
Managing your money and your partner
- When you start life as a couple, money ceases to be an individual matter and becomes a joint one. Hence the impossibility of raising it individually.
- You must both be absolutely honest. Therefore, hiding expenses or disposing of money without consulting each other should be avoided.
- Agree on a time to discuss the subject in order to reduce any unexpected elements that might stress and tire you out.
- Maintain a calm and warm tone of voice and open and friendly body language.
- Clearly establish what your budget is. That’s because many couples spend above or below their means as their individual ideas of the money they need to live on aren’t realistic.
- There are multiple ways to work things out together. Naturally, the most convenient will be the one that satisfies you both equally.
Money is an inanimate object and is only a channel through which conflict is expressed. However, money management and love don’t have to go in opposite directions. You just need to plan your finances together. This will also help you to value each other and grow together.
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