Some people can’t fall in love. Behind this fact, usually lie certain unidentified reasons or problems. Indeed, they’re not so easy to assimilate in a context in which romantic love is idealized or rigid codes are established regarding what’s ‘normal’ and what’s not.

While it’s true that some people can’t seem to fall in love, this doesn’t mean that they’re incapable of love. Indeed, romantic love is just one of love’s many facets. This feeling can also be focused in other directions such as family, friends, a job, a cause, or all human beings in general.

A problem only occurs, in the strict sense of the word, when there’s an inability to love or when people want to experience love in a relationship, but can’t. In these cases, there’s something lacking or contradictory. In other cases, people who can’t fall in love are simply individuals who don’t conform to the usual patterns of behavior.

“Continue to share your heart with other people even though it’s been broken. Don’t treat your heart like an action figure wrapped in plastic and never used.“

-Amy Poehler-

People who can’t fall in love

In order to discover if people who can’t fall in love have a problem or not, the first thing to do is examine the situation in the emotional context in which it occurs. The first question that arises is: Does that person feel calm in such a situation?

If the answer is ‘yes’, it’s most likely that they’re someone who experiences love in a different way. There’s no one obstacle that prevents people from falling in love, but they may experience this type of situation with less intensity or have other priorities that they’re passionate about. In fact, those who fail to fall in love may not have yet focused on being intimate with another human being. The time simply might not have come yet.

We can be happy without being in love. We can also love without falling in love. Infatuation and love are two different realities. Just as some fall in love instantly and easily, there are also those who can’t but they do experience a committed and mature kind of love.

When it’s a worry

Let’s think about people who either can’t fall in love or don’t feel comfortable or calm with the idea. Those who pride themselves on not experiencing these kinds of feelings and think that this shows signs of strength or superiority would also fit into this group. In these kinds of cases, it’s most likely that there’s indeed a problem worth looking into.

So what could be happening? It’s important to keep in mind that love is a feeling that’s developed by sharing experiences with another. If these spaces aren’t built to spend time with a person or interact with them, it’s possible that they’ll never go beyond the formal social bond in the relationship.

For this reason, the first element to be considered is whether others have a realistic opportunity to cross this border and are able to share intimate situations. After all, it’s really difficult for someone to fall in love if their communication with others is only superficial.

Other reasons that prevent people from falling in love

Sometimes, people fail to fall in love for unconscious reasons. For example, it’s possible that the love of a partner is idealized to the extent that the feeling isn’t even real.

Likewise, there are people with emotional blocks who, without realizing it, inhibit any type of behavior that might make them vulnerable. These people are afraid of love because they still feel the pain of emotional wounds that lead them to erect great barriers every time hope knocks on their door. They don’t want to be hurt again, and they know that one way to prevent it is to avoid love.

In other cases, social isolation prevents the opportunity of meeting someone who sparks a love interest. In this case, as in the previous two, there are individual problems to be solved. As a matter of fact, it’s likely that professional help will be needed to achieve it.

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