Being mentally strong is a foundational life skill. Furthermore, it’s one that takes on vital importance when it comes to parenting. In fact, mentally strong parents know how to regulate their emotions, properly manage their thoughts, and behave productively, even – and especially – when it seems that their children want to drive them crazy.
When it comes to building mental strength, there are some bad habits that can get in the way of reaching your full potential. Identifying and avoiding these mistakes can make a difference.
What mentally strong parents don’t do
The way to establish good habits and build mental strength is to avoid the following mistakes and not fall into bad habits. They’re as follows:
They don’t feel sorry for themselves
Mentally strong parents don’t fall into the trap of thinking that their children are trying to punish or harm them or that they’re being unfair to them. In fact, they know that feeling sorry for themselves only delays the solving of a real problem.
Children and adolescents are the way they are, and it’s in their nature to find a way to control situations. It’s a part of their development. The solution isn’t to complain and play the victim, but to establish effective discipline rules and comply with them efficiently.
In this sense, mentally strong parents are proactive in solving problems. Furthermore, they don’t waste time on regrets. That’s because they know they deserve better.
They don’t shy away from responsibility
It’s extremely easy to blame problems and uncomfortable feelings on a child because they’re annoying or they misbehave. Alternatively, perhaps their attitude or their overreaction is extremely annoying. However, instead of blaming their children, mentally strong parents retain their personal power and accept responsibility for their emotions and behavior.
As a matter of fact, mentally strong parents recognize that each time they get involved in a power struggle or lose their position of leadership, they’re effectively giving their children more power. Therefore, they maintain their position in order to dominate the situation by staying in control of their emotions.
They don’t ignore changes
As children grow and develop, their attitudes and behaviors change, as well as their relationship with their parents. However, many parents don’t accept these changes. This is especially the case when they realize that their children aren’t or don’t want to be as they want them to be, but want to choose their own path.
Mentally strong parents are capable of accepting these changes. In fact, they understand them as a stage of development. For this reason, they’re willing to adjust their educational strategies and their way of relating to the needs of their children. This is because they recognize their children’s need for individual freedom.
They don’t try to control their children
Controlling children is an arduous and useless task. That’s because the more they’re oppressed the more they take advantage. However, instead of controlling their children, mentally strong parents try to influence – not manipulate them. To do this, they help them develop skills and give them the necessary tools to be successful in all areas of their life.
In this sense, mentally strong parents are aware that education isn’t based on the imposition of criteria and the strict following-up of rules that are often not justified or explained. Instead, it concerns the development of strong self-esteem and the learning of the skills of management of emotions and decision-making, among others.
They don’t care about pleasing others
Mentally strong parents don’t care about what others say. Nor do they attempt to satisfy the expectations of others, even if it might mean being branded as strict or old-fashioned. Furthermore, they don’t give in to pressure from other parents or other adults who don’t understand their way of behaving.
As a matter of fact, mentally strong parents are clear about their objectives, strategies, and their house rules. They’re also clear about the way in which they want to educate their children. This involves teaching them to respect the decisions of others as well as their own.
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