For a long time, I felt the need to fulfill the expectations of others. There was a difference between what I was and what I believed the world expected of me. Over time, and in the light of some bad experiences, I realized that this pressure had turned me into a chameleon. The problem was, that I was losing myself despite many people telling me to “be yourself”.

Has this ever happened to you? Is it happening to you right now? Do you really think it’s more important to be what others expect than to be yourself? How bad would it be to just be yourself? If this sounds like you, you’ll eventually start to feel bad. In fact, you’ll suddenly notice that you’ve lost yourself. When this moment arrives you’ll have to stop and begin to find answers to all those questions you’re asking yourself.

“Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself, and the right people will like the real you.” 

-Oreki Houtarou-

Who do you want to please?

Ask yourself how much time you spend pleasing others. Naturally, you want your parents to be proud of you, you want your partner to approve of what you do, and you want your children to see you as a hero. This is all fine. However,  you need to make sure that you’re not seeking approval from the wrong people. 

That’s because it can lead you to forget who you are, what you want, and your opinions. In fact, when you spend so much time trying to please others, you forget your own worth. Of course, it’s not a bad thing to want others to admire you as long as you don’t shut your own voice down. In fact, you should never sacrifice your own self to please the wrong people. Always be yourself and try to please yourself before anyone else.

“A man has as many social selves as there are individuals that recognize him.”

-William James-

Don’t live the life of others

Life is full of problems and setbacks that make it difficult for you to get where you want to go. However, no one can live them for you. Furthermore, when you live surrounded by other people, it isn’t uncommon for you to learn about their most longed-for wishes, their failures, and their dreams. You might even find yourself trying to satisfy the wishes that they couldn’t fulfill. Hence, you lose yourself in a spiral of trying to satisfy others.

For instance, say your mother wanted to be a doctor but couldn’t. It isn’t your duty to fulfill her dream unless you want to, of course. Ask yourself if you’re where you want to be. Are you doing something you love? If the answer is no, CHANGE! Be yourself. It won’t be easy but it’ll be rewarding.

“Life is like a road, it has bumps, cracks, and obstacles, but in the end it gets you somewhere.”

-Anonymous-

True happiness is based on respecting yourself

To be truly happy, you must be honest with yourself, live your own dreams, and be proud of what makes you unique. That’s because you’ve grown up in a world full of stereotypes that told you how you should be, how you should look, and how you should live.

The problem is, that the standards they set for you were unrealistic. When you finally learn to be comfortable with yourself, you can discover yourself. Remember, there’ll always be someone more beautiful, intelligent, talented, stronger, or richer than you. There’ll also be people far less fortunate. However, instead of comparing yourself to others, look within yourself to find your true potential.

“I cannot conceive of a greater loss than the loss of self-respect”

-Mahatma Gandhi-

Live life according to your own vision

Stop thinking about what you should be or do. We’ve all got baggage and it’s never as light as we’d like it to be. Let the person you are come out, be yourself, and don’t worry if others don’t accept you.

The people who love you and who really matter will remain by your side regardless of your faults. There’ll always be others who won’t accept you no matter what you do. This is why it’s important that you connect with your authenticity and compassion. Also, don’t try to change for other people just to feel comfortable. Be yourself.

“The best thing in life is to go ahead with all your plans and dreams, to embrace life and to live everyday with passion, to lose and still keep the faith and to win while being grateful. All of this because the world belongs to those who dare to go after what they want.”

-Charles Chaplin-

Don’t Be Where You Can’t Be Yourself

Don’t be where you can’t be yourself. Being loyal to your own identity and values requires a brave heart, especially when it comes to making decisions. Read more »

 

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